let's get the seven lines. (bookshop) wrote,

THINGS WE CAN ONLY POST ON ACTUAL BLOGS, take that, tumblr!

(there is a monster Tim Roth / Gary Oldman fic at the end of this chat book)

Ifrit.: JGL was a wreck on SNL
bookshop: oh god really? oh god poor guy
bookshop: UGH SO EMBARRASSED
Ifrit.: flkd;lk no wait I'm not actually sure if it was TERRIBLE TERRIBLE
bookshop: he was really bad the last time too wasn't he? fdljafj;dslasdfj
Ifrit.: but I am just assuming that it was because the opening involves him doing a striptease a la Magic Mike
bookshop: uh
Ifrit.: I am looking at gifs and just being like really embarrassed
bookshop: why are he and tom hardy both always so asdklfja;sdlfdklj;kldj
Ifrit.: embarrassing
bookshop: safdk;kjfksdf;sdajsdfjs yes sdlka;sdfjsljsssjfljld
Ifrit.: WHY
bookshop: SO HILARIOUSLY NOT THEIR CHARACTERS fdklasdj;fkadjaskdflajaklfjdl
Ifrit.: but Tom Hardy is like
Ifrit.: he's okay but JGL JUST STOP
bookshop: yes, he's just
bookshop: yes
bookshop: yes
bookshop: yes
bookshop: yes

bookshop: yes
Ifrit.: WHY *IS* HE
bookshop: sdasfds I DON'T KNOW GOD
Ifrit.: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM
bookshop: WHY IS HE SO PRETENTIOUS AND AWKWARD
Ifrit.: right
bookshop: HE'S NOT EVEN SMART jdflkajdsa dfaskdfjadkl;ajkjfdkjklasfd
Ifrit.: LKFJ;DLKJG;LAKG;LAKG LAKFJLDKJF;LDKN;ALKDJF;LKN;FALKDJ;NGALKDJ;AL *SO BLUNT*
bookshop: WELL IT'S TRUE kdjf;jadkfadkdj;k
Ifrit.: HIS FRENCH ISN'T EVEN THAT GREAT
bookshop: godddddddd I KNOW!
Ifrit.: BRADLEY COOPER'S FRENCH IS BETTER THAN YOURS!!!
bookshop: HE KNOWS NO FRENCH DIRECTORS WHEN FACED WITH FRENCH PEOPLE! ACTUAL FRENCH PEOPLE LEVEL HIM!
Ifrit.: HE IS BUILT LIKE A STALK OF CELERY!!!!!
bookshop: dfadladdl;fajdsfl
bookshop: HE FILMED AN ENTIRE MOVIE JUST SO HE COULD RIDE A BIKE!
Ifrit.: NOBODY EVEN LIKES BIKE MESSENGERS!!!!!!!!!
bookshop: WELL i did really love paperboy when i was 9 :(
Ifrit.: http://blog.naver.com/ygitnm/110148030752 please share in my horror
bookshop: why am i clicking on this
Ifrit.: because you hate yourself and we hate JGL
bookshop: olhdlfkjdkl;sd;;sdl;ads;klasdhj;dsfd kalsdjf;sasdjfsdlkjsafddd oh my GOD
Ifrit.: RIGHT
bookshop: dfkj;ajdlj;ajf;dlkjaslksjaljdljalsdk
Ifrit.: I JUST CAN'T
Ifrit.: LIKE
bookshop: NO
Ifrit.: DEAR TUMBLR, THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO ACTUALLY *CAN'T*
Ifrit.: LIKE I JUST REALLY CAN'T
bookshop: SCREAM
bookshop: RIGHT
bookshop: I JUST
Ifrit.: AJA HE IS SO HORRIFYING
bookshop: GOD WHY IS HE ALWAYS SO HORRIFYING
Ifrit.: *I DON'T KNOW*
bookshop: *HOT GIRLS AREN'T FUNNY* HE SAYS
bookshop: AND THEN: HE DOES THIS
Ifrit.: HE IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST UGH
Ifrit.: BAG OF FUCKING DICKS
Ifrit.: WHAT A CLUELESS ASSHOLE
bookshop: WHY
bookshop: WHY
bookshop: WHY
Ifrit.: he
Ifrit.: I
bookshop: GOD JUST WHEN I THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE CHASTENED SINCE HIS EMILY BLUNT THING
Ifrit.: NOPE
bookshop: I MEAN MAYBE HE JUST DOESN'T REALIZE HOW AWFUL HE LOOKS
Ifrit.: well to be fair you can do a terrible striptease even while chastened
bookshop: true
Ifrit.: but
bookshop: true but
Ifrit.: but YES THIS IS JUST SO
bookshop: dakldldld
Ifrit.: IT IS THE LEAST SEXY THING IN THE WORLD
Ifrit.: IT IS AN ACTIVE BONER-KILLER
bookshop: it is so unsexy
bookshop: I MEAN CLEARLY THE POINT IS TO BE UNSEXY BUT THIS IS NOT
Ifrit.: but like not even ironically
bookshop: RIGHT
Ifrit.: THIS IS JUST SO WHOLEHEARTEDLY EMBARRASSING
bookshop: I THINK HE REALLY DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO DO COMEDY UNLESS IT'S PHYSICAL COMEDY OR SITCOM-LEVEL UNSUBTLETY
Ifrit.: I AGREE
bookshop: why
Ifrit.: it is because he has no self-awareness ;__;
bookshop: no .________.
bookshop: I just feel really gross even analyzing this to that extent
Ifrit.: LFAKJD;LKGHA; SO TRUE
bookshop: god MEANWHILE TOM HARDY IS THE MOST SELF AWARE, BUT SO INTROVERTED THAT HE CAN BARELY FUNCTION IN PUBLIC ASKLJF;ADF
Ifrit.: oh stop, don't make this about Tom Hardy
bookshop: I AM NOT
bookshop: I AM MERELY MAKING IT ABOUT THE RPF FIC I WANT WRITTEN
Ifrit.: ABOUT THARD AND JGL?
bookshop: WHERE TOM HARDY TEACHES JGL HOW TO STOP BEING A PRETENTIOUS FUCK
Ifrit.: IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE
bookshop: I DON'T REALLY EVEN NEED SEX, I JUST NEED THE ERASURE
Ifrit.: OF JGL
bookshop: OF MY OWN EMBARRASSMENT
Ifrit.: LKFJDLK; BUT CAN YOU REALLY CHANGE THE COLOR OF THE OCEANS
bookshop: bookshop: I DON'T KNOW! JUST I KEEP HOPING GARY OLDMAN WILL FIX THEM
Ifrit.: I FEEL BAD FOR FICTIONAL TOM HARDY
Ifrit.: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Ifrit.: OHMYFUCKINGGOD
Ifrit.: ACTUAL LAUGHTER
Ifrit.: JUST THE THOUGHT OF GARY OLDMAN PATIENTLY / IMPATIENTLY SITTING BOTH OF THEM DOWN AND BEING LIKE "YOU TWO HAVE PROBLEMS" "FIX THEM"
Ifrit.: AND JUST LEAVING
Ifrit.: and Christian Bale laughing at them
bookshop: BUT IT'S SO TRUE! IF ANYONE CAN....! WAIT where would bale be in all this! WHO IS HE TO LAUGH AT ANYONE
Ifrit.: he is just lurking outside a window and he is laughing because he is a dick
bookshop: KDJA;KLSDJ;FLDSJ;ASLDSJASDLJSD;;SADLJSDL of course he is
bookshop: actual psychopath senor bale
Ifrit.: I love it fld;kd
Ifrit.: and as he walks out of the room Gary Oldman finds him lurking at the window laughing and he snaps WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT and Gary Oldman stalks away muttering CRAZY CUNTS and he is just so done with everything
Ifrit.: I hope he meets Tim Roth for drinks.
bookshop: of course he does
Ifrit.: ;___; <3
bookshop: and then they rant about how all the younger stars need to get off their lawns
Ifrit.: and then I hope they have nostalgic sex, as they do
bookshop: of course, as they do whenever they meet up for drinks
Ifrit.: alternatively I hope they get SO DRUNK that they just end up trashing London and then they get arrested and nobody believes that they are Gary Oldman and Tim Roth
bookshop: fdajds;jdlasdfjdsljld oh my god LIKE IT'S 1988
Ifrit.: and Christian Bale comes to laugh at them because he is an actual psychopath, and Gary Oldman throws something at him from between the bars
bookshop: YES OMG
bookshop: THEY JUST HAVE DRUNKEN HALF-PUBLIC SEX SOMEWHERE AND THEN LIKE WRITE CRUDE GRAFFITI ON THE WALLS OF THE OLD VIC OR SOMETHING
Ifrit.: AHAHAHAHA YES
bookshop: "FUCK IBSEN"
Ifrit.: THEY ARE SO SLOPPY ;___;
Ifrit.: LFK;LAKN;ALGK;ALKE;LGKA; DYING THIS IS SO ROMANTIC
bookshop: "I'LL SHOW YOU MY MASTER BUILDER," slurs tim roth
bookshop: dying
Ifrit.: oh my god Ibsen obscenities
bookshop: there clearly need to be more ibsen-related obscenities
Ifrit.: sob I love them a lot
Ifrit.: nyoro~n
bookshop: *pat pat*
Ifrit.: I hope someone writes this fic
Ifrit.: and calls it Senility in the UK or something
Ifrit.: YULETIDE~
Tags: inception, it's a circle of love, yuletide
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