let's get the seven lines. (bookshop) wrote,
let's get the seven lines.
bookshop

  • Mood:

Another Huge Scary Anime Post

Have been having several conversations of late about Fuji, and why Fuji's wild popularity is such a puzzlement to me, and why I find nearly all Fuji ships kind of insanely WTF.

But! No more! I have finally made my peace with Fuji, because I have finally gained a perfect handle on his character.

orphne: ATOBE SO GAY
orphne: BUT NOT AS GAY AS MIZUKI
bookshop: NOTHING IS AS GAY AS MIZUKI
bookshop: Possibly fuji
bookshop: in a creepy gay serial killer way

Fuji, the Creepy Gay Serial Killer. A Speculation in 3 parts, complete with shocking twister ending.

Note: To understand what we mean by "CHINK!" Please see this lovely comment by darkeyedwolf.

Part 1. A History of Evil.

orphne: I'M SURE AKATSU WILL PLAY AGAIN EVENTUALLY
orphne: OR MAYBE HE'LL TAKE UP SUSHI MAKING
orphne: AND HE AND TAKA-SAN COULD RUN THE RESTAURANT TOGETHER
orphne: AND MAKE THE BEST SUSHI EVER
orphne: AND THEY COULD CUDDLE
bookshop: AKSFAJSKFAS
bookshop: YES
bookshop: AND FUJI WOULD COME OVER SOMETIME
bookshop: AND GLARE AT AKUTSU
bookshop: LIKE THIS: ^_^
orphne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
orphne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
bookshop: CANON IS FULL OF ONE-SIDED FUJI/TAKA
bookshop: AND ONE-SIDED FUJI/TEZUKA
bookshop: AND ONE-SIDED FUJI/YU--
bookshop: FUJI IS SO TOTALLY A CREEPY GAY STALKER.
orphne: HE IS
bookshop: HE IS.
bookshop: ^_^
bookshop: *SCREAMS*
orphne: GAAAAAAAAAAAAH
bookshop: RIGHT BEFORE YOU DIE
bookshop: YOU HEAR
bookshop: *CHINK*
orphne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
bookshop: I love pot
orphne: I haven't noticed
orphne: maybe you should make a lj post about it

~~~~~

bookshop: i am torn about whether i ship fuji/yuuta or mizuki/yuuta
orphne: I like mizuki/yuuta more
bookshop: on the one hand, mizuki
orphne: on the other hand ^_^
bookshop: hlksjadf;sfajf
orphne: fuji is really very creepy
bookshop: he really really is.
bookshop: like i almost don't think i can watch him any more
bookshop: between him always going ^_^ and *CHINK* in the anime
bookshop: and fandom turning him into like some sort of fanon!god
orphne: I know
bookshop: and constantly marrying him off to tezuka
orphne: I KNOW
bookshop: sdfasasklj wtf don't they fear for tezuka's life?
bookshop: IN THE ANIME
bookshop: FUJI IS LIKE
bookshop: "Tezuka, you seem to be looking at Echizen. ^_^"
bookshop: *DIE*
orphne: haahahahahaha
bookshop: "kirihara, using my mysterious x-ray vision i noticed you banged echizen in the knee. ^_^"
bookshop: *DIE*
orphne: hahahahahahah
bookshop: "Mizuki, i just want to be clear about something ^_^"
orphne: LIKE HOW DOES HE KNOW IT'S KIRIHARA?
bookshop: *CHINK*
orphne: HAHAHAAHHAHA
bookshop: HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW?
bookshop: HE HAS SPIDEY SENSE?
orphne: HE'S SO CREEPY
bookshop: HE REALLY IS. AND IT TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE EVERY TIME HE TALKS TO YUUTA HE IS INVITING HIM TO BED
orphne: BECAUSE HE PROBABLY IS
bookshop: HE IS.
orphne: WHY DO YOU THINK YUUTA DECIDED TO GO TO BOARDING SCHOOL?
bookshop: AKLSJFALSKJF
orphne: HE PROBABLY THINKS MIZUKI IS COMPLETELY NORMAL
orphne: MIZUKI IS PROBABLY A SAINT COMPARED TO FUJI
bookshop: WE NEVER SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE BULLIES IN THAT FLASHBACK SCENE
orphne: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
bookshop: FUJI: *holds arms out* ^_^
orphne: CHINK
bookshop: *CHINK*
orphne: HSDKFJLDSFKJS
orphne: THEY ARE PROBABLY DEAD
bookshop: THEY ARE
orphne: OR HORRIBLY MUTILATED
bookshop: I AM SURE THEY ARE BURIED IN THE FUJIS' BACK YARD
orphne: HAHAHAHAHAHA

II. Domestic Violence.

bookshop: I AM PICTURING TEZUKA SFJAS;KFLS
bookshop: MARRIED TO FUJI
bookshop: ASFJ;ASKJF;SF
orphne: a;dlkjfalfkjdlfja
bookshop: MAKING PHONE CALLS FROM THE BASEMENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
bookshop: WITH HIS HAND OVER THE RECEIVER
bookshop: "I CAN'T TALK LONG. I THINK I HEAR HIM WAKING UP."
orphne: OR BEING LIKE, "FUJI, ARE YOU PLANTING A NEW TREE IN THE GARDEN"
orphne: AND FUJI BEING ALL ^_^
bookshop: ASFJAS;JF
orphne: OR FUJI BEING ^_^ LET'S INVITE YUUTA OVER
orphne: ^_^ THE GUEST ROOM IS MESSY, SO HE SHOULD STAY IN OUR BED
bookshop: OR ^_^ YOU KNOW THE COWORKER YOU WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE OTHER DAY? ^_^
orphne: HAHAHAHA
orphne: *CHINK*
bookshop: OUR NICE NEW NEIGHBORS WERE OVER TODAY. THEY HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS ^_^
orphne: HE PROBABLY SAYS THAT SENTENCE EVERY COUPLE MONTHS
bookshop: YOU INVITED OISHI AND EIJI OVER WITHOUT ASKING ME? ^_^ HOW NICE
orphne: CHINK

bookshop: I really want to write fuji as a gay serial killer now.
orphne: Oh Aja
orphne: I think I'm starting to love Fuji now
bookshop: i think i am starting to make my peace with him.
bookshop: if i can just see him as a tennis prodigy by day, psycho killer by night, it all falls into place.
bookshop: though really
bookshop: sticking tezuka with fuji is the only way to keep him safe!
bookshop: tezuka: *plays atobe*
bookshop: CHINK
bookshop: tezuka: *plays sanada*
bookshop: CHINK
orphne: hahahahahahahaahah
bookshop: though in his jealousy he certainly would sneak into yukimura's sick room
bookshop: and smother him with a pillow or something
bookshop: undo all his life support
orphne: and Yukimura would just smile serenely
bookshop: "sorry to trouble you "
bookshop: ^_^
orphne: ^_^ do not trouble yourself over it
orphne: *CHINK*
bookshop: ^_^ it was my pleasure
bookshop: tezuka: *starts to suspect something*
bookshop: ryoma: will you play me, buchou?
bookshop: tezuka: NO!
bookshop: YOU MUST NEVER ASK ME THAT AGAIN.

bookshop: i now find it hard to believe this characterization isn't canon.
bookshop: *adds it to interests*
orphne: perhaps this is why everyone loves Tezuka/Fuji?
orphne: maybe I have just been missing all the serial!killer!Fuji fics
bookshop: i daresay it will catch on quickly.
bookshop: i can't figure out how to get "hearing chink! right before you die" to fit. alas.
orphne: hahahahahaahah
orphne: or maybe ^_^ CHINK!

Part Three. The Shocking Twist.

bookshop: ORPHNE
bookshop: DJFKASJKFSF
bookshop: IS THIS YOU? ASDFJKLASJFSJASFKSLF
bookshop: THAT AJSFDKLDLJAJFFKAFJL
bookshop: OH NO
orphne: SKDJFLSDKLAJL:kdajflajf;ajfdlkajfa;fjkla;f
bookshop: *LOOKS OUTSIDE*
bookshop: SKFJSKJFSKLSLSJKLSAJJSFSF
orphne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
bookshop: *LOCKS DOOR*
orphne: HAHAHAAHHAHAKLDJFLSKJFl;akldajfla
bookshop: DFSAFDJLKSAJFLKSAJFLKSAKSA
orphne: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
bookshop: FUJI SAW.
bookshop: WHAT IF HE IS CHECKING MY INTEREST LIST RIGHT NOW
bookshop: ASJFDKLJASKLJFSKALJFKASL
bookshop: NOT THAT IT WILL LAST LONG AFTER I AM DEAD
orphne: HAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
orphne: DON'T WORRY, I WILL KEEP IT UP FOR YOU
orphne: EVEN AFTER FUJI CHINKS YOU, YOU WILL STILL LIVE ON
bookshop: BUT WHAT IF FUJI COMES AFTER YOU NEXT
orphne: I AM YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
bookshop: you are the wisecracking sidekick. you are always the next to go. ^_^
Tags: ^_^, chats, crack, gay serial killers, tenipuri
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 49 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →