let's get the seven lines. (bookshop) wrote,
let's get the seven lines.
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hikago ep 18

okay, so, i was watching hikago last week and i got through the first 17 eps before getting temporarily distracted by the dresden files. then today hit like a bird against a windshield, and i wound up feeling lower than i have in a long time. so i came back to hikago, to ep 18, which is one of the most heartwrenching eps of the show, the one where akira confronts hikaru after his game with sai on the you-know-what.

and the thing i keep coming back to is how easy it would be for akira to just give up and walk away without looking back, and how close he comes to doing that in this ep - but hikaru calls and he always finds something in hikaru that's worth turning back towards, worth waiting and hoping and reaching out for. that act, on akira's part, just devastates me over and over again. the act of holding out hope where no other person in the universe would have sensed what hikaru's destiny truly was, would have held out hope for the potential in this lunatic kid. they are so. god. it's beyond anything.

akira and hikaru have that whole sunset-saturated love scene alone, entirely to themselves (which i'm not going to screencap because if i started i'd be here all night just blubbering in love).

but it struck me tonight (it's taken me like an hour to watch this ep because i keep stopping and replaying EVERYTHING) that there's one thing i never noticed before - sai's reaction shot, the first time we see him after this whole scene has taken place and hikaru has watched akira leave:



he's just watching hikaru, looking like his heart is breaking for that kid.

and also, deep in thought - as if he's starting to really understand what hikaru's potential is, and how akira, by throwing "do you want to play me now or just someday?" back over his shoulder, has just done to it.

i'm going to go cry my heart out now. oh life. oh humanity. oh children.
Tags: 2 years 4 months, hikago, touya akira is my density
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