let's get the seven lines. (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bookshop) wrote,@ 2008-11-12 00:19:00 |
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| Current mood: | excited |
| Entry tags: | rahmdom, yuletide |
Hi, Hi, Yuletide Santa! Here is my Rahmspam for youuuu <3333
Dear Santa,
Thank you for putting up with my incoherent screeching and flagrant rule-bending. I would *love* Havemercy fic or Vesper fic or gay serial killer fic, and I LOVE YOU MOST ALREADY for being nice to me ♥, so this is just an introduction to all things Rahm, as requested. *squishes*
- RequestDetail1: RAHM EMANUEL, dear yuletide santa. the 2009 presidency is ALL ABOUT RAHM EMANUEL. please see my LJ for the glowy details, because i will include them and they will be many. I won't lie, I want Rahm/Barack as my preferred pairing. They are perfect, the laidback/snarky/deadpan/dork/star trek fan civil rights lawyer who is like *HUGS FOR ALL MANKIND*, and the uptight hypertense edgy mafia boss Jewish congressman who sends dead fish to his enemies and thinks everyone is "a fucking idiot." SO PERFECT. But it can be as cute/whimsical/porny/serious as your heart desires. Someone just said "I want to see Rahm fucking {character X} ironically," and just. yes, please let Rahm fuck someone ironically, dearest Santa. Rahm Emanuel commands you. Do you want to lose your fingers? Rahm Emanuel doesn't want to have to take your fingers. :( God he's amazing. His history is currently plastered all over the internet, and what a history it is. Really, I say I want porn but mostly I just want more of him. You could write 1500 words of him standing in one place with his hand on his hip and just screaming "FUCK" over and over again. I would love you forever. I am so easy. HE MAKES IT SO EASY. It is impossible not to fall in love with this guy, so please have fun and fall in love with him too, I WANT YOU TO <333333. OH RAHM EMANUELLLLLLL
oh, P.S. I also love him when he's a giant slut.
RAHM EMANUEL: Just a heartbeat away from having a heart.
you should know that I sacrificed a perfectly good Company of Wolves request to move Rahm Emanuel into my top slot at the last minute. This of course is because to my great and utter shame and lifelong deprivation I did not know who he was before November 6th. Apparently no one else in Yuletide did either, because he did not make the nominated character list. :(
But we know now, my friend. We know now. Rahm is basically a miracle of existence. You read about him and you are like, how, NO, BUT HOW DO YOU EXIST, RAHM EMANUEL? So far, no answers are forthcoming, but the wonder, the wonder persists.
Biography!
Rahm Emanuel (nickname "Rahmbo") is the middle son of a well-off Jewish family from Chicago, and an absolute dick to everyone ever ♥. He studied ballet and then went to Sarah Lawrence and became a political fundraiser. He was one of the original fabled "War Room" members of the '92 Clinton Campaign and served in the White House til '98, when he left to become an investment banker (millionaire) and teach at Northwestern. He returned to Washington after running (kicking ass) for Congress. He was already pretty much a legend in Washington for his temper and hard-line politics (Hillary tried to have him fired but apparently they later kissed and made nice), but he *really* made his name upon his return. He was appointed chair of the Democratic Caucus pre the 2006 election, and he is pretty much singlehandedly responsible (in the eyes of most of Congress) for winning back the House with the decisive majority. He is currently the 4th-ranking member of the House, and was on a very clear path to become Speaker of the House before giving it up to accept the job as Obama's Chief of Staff (which many consider to be the second most powerful position in the country. SWEET).
He's also a total douchebag who really loves his family and is completely dedicated to his work, his bosses, and his political life. HE'S SUCH A DICK, IT'S SO GREAT <333333.
This is his family - his wife Amy, and his daughters Illana and Leah. Below- his son, Zach.
My Favorite Rahm Emanuel Story.
After yet another devastating loss in 2004, he and other Democratic leaders quickly determined that the party needed a machismo implant. Emanuel looked for candidates with strong backgrounds, from sheriffs to soldiers, to counteract a Democratic image of softness.
This is why he badly wanted Heath Shuler, a former football star, to run for Congress as a Democrat in North Carolina. An evangelical Christian who opposes abortion, Shuler couldn't easily have his views caricatured by the GOP.
But Shuler was worried that if he ran and won, he would never see his two young children. To prove that congressmen do spend time with their children, Emanuel started calling Shuler in early 2005 whenever he was with his own family.
Shuler would pick up the phone and hear, "It's Rahm. I'm at a soccer game with my kids. Just wanted you to know that." Or "It's Rahm. I'm at a kindergarten play now. Talk to you soon." Shuler received perhaps 10 such calls. Of course, this also illustrated that whenever Emanuel was with his family, he was working. // Another source that I can't find now reports that Rahm's son actually screamed at him to stop talking on the phone when they were together.
- Source.
EPIC ENDEARING ASSHOLERY <33333333
__________________________________
THE LEGEND OF RAHM
Things That Are True:
- Yes, he took ballet, and still studies. he's also a motherfucking *triathlete.*
- Yes, he does only have half of his middle finger. He sliced it badly while working at Arby's on prom night, then went to prom anyway because he's ~just that hardcore~. It got extremely infected after he "went swimming" in Lake Michigan.
- He did not lose his finger while working for the Israeli Military. He did, however, actually work for the Israeli military - as a brake repair mechanic. After, you know, studying ballet.
- He's so religious he received special permission from his Rabbi to work through Yom Kippur during the Bail-out bill passage last month. (HEART HEART HEART).
- He did actually take a butter knife and shout "ENEMY #1! DEAD! ENEMY #2! DEAD!" while stabbing the table at a celebratory white house dinner after one election. One eyewitness said the table looked like a lunar landing. :D :D :D
- He did tell Tony Blair "not to fuck up" when he was meeting with Pres. Clinton. Clinton himself says the worst thing he ever said to him while working in the Clinton White House is "unprintable."
- He was the partial inspiration for the character of Josh Lyman on the West Wing, and his brother Ari is the direct inspiration for the character of Ari Gold on "Entourage." (They joke that his older brother, Zeke, an oncologist, is the family underachiever. :D)
- His family is INSANE AND WONDERFUL. His mom affectionately calls him a "bastard." Swearing in his family, according to Rahm, is a term of endearment :D
- The press and the political blogosphere both are united on this fact: they love him. GQ devoted a 12-page spread to fawning over him in 2006, Esquire profiled all three brothers, Gawker called him a "dreamboat," Wonkette named him the weekly Gangsta and made an Emanuel Brothers Personality Quiz, Politico titled him "warm, witty, and charming," and Newsweek writer Naftali Bendavid turned what was to have been a single article into an entire book praising his accomplishments after the 2006 election.
- Fandom is not exaggerating his language. He calls Washington "Fucknutsville," Republicans "knucklefucks."
- He refers to himself as "an Equal Opportunity Prick," and according to James Carville (his BFF), he "thinks everyone is a fucking idiot." He has been known to make members of Congress actually flinch.
- He once signed off from a phone call with the words, "Don't fuck it up or I'll fuck you. I'll kill you. All right, I love you. Bye."
- He mails cheesecakes to his friends/donors/supporters/fans when they play nice.
- Rahm Facts are as awesome as Chuck Norris facts - except 100% true!
Things That May or May Not Be True:
- He once mailed a rotten fish to someone who didn't play nice. In a mahogany box. eta: (this one he admits: "I'm the guy who once stamped and mailed a fish to a pollster. Let me say I would never do that today - I have franking privileges." :D :D :D)
- Ron Reagan is harboring a jealous crush on him.
- His balls are actually made of brass.
- He and Howard Dean are mortal enemies.
- His father was an Israeli Terrorist. Militia member. Something.
- He and Barack Obama went out back and had really hot sex after this:
Things that are Definitely Not True. Really. Probably.
- He is the leader of the North American Mossad.
- He is "in league with the Chinese Gestapo," whatever the hell that is.
- He is "no stranger to murder." :))
- He is an "amoral, showboating cock." *___*
Rahm's Politics
Personally speaking, Rahm's politics appear to be a weird, hilarious mixture of clear ideology and shameless opportunism. In practice, he is still very much a die-hard Clintonite, which puts him at odds with half the party, but which Obama has very astutely recognized as a key to much-needed reform in the House: his politics are staunchly liberal at heart, but in practice he's a centrist and a strategist first.
- He frequently combine forces with House Republicans, and more than a few of them had positive things to say about his future as Chief of Staff (if only because they were thrilled to get him out of Congress) - but of course this alienates a lot of die-hard Leftists in his own party. To quote Mother Jones, "Nobody says he's dumb, but everyone says he's an asshole."
- Even though his fundraising and campaign strategies won the election, most of his personally hand-picked candidates lost in 2006, while the more leftist candidates did better than expected. He was deeply invested in all the elections, though. AWW. :( And even his critics have to hand it to him, because he knows how to get the job done.
- He was crucial to Clinton pushing through NAFTA. He was on the board of Freddie Mac when it voted to lower its credit regulations. He now is tirelessly pursuing economic reform. Thank god he is not being hired for his economic advice. ♥
- He learned politics from the best. His first political campaigns were for Mayor Daley, and Paul Simon in Minnesota. From there, he went straight to the Clinton campaign in Little Rock.
- He's super close to David Axelrod (who said of Rahm, "he redefines the word 'chutzpah'") and the "Carville boys". He's always been very close to Barack Obama, as well as the Clintons, and was quoted as "hiding under the desk" when asked (as a Superdelegate) who he was going to choose before the primaries.
- Even though his practical application of politics appears to be Centrist, his ideas (as detailed in The Plan, which calls among other things for universal civil service) are decidedly left-leaning.
- He was prescient enough to declare, when Barack was first running for Congress, that Obama was "the future of the Democratic party." ♥♥♥
_______________________
Things That Make Rahm Really Ridiculously Hot
- Told his brother he liked the tv version of him better :D :D :D :D :D :D
- Told Howard Dean his grassroots plan "didn't exist" before walking out on him mid-meeting in 2006 because Dean wouldn't funnel more money towards the races that needed it most.
- Called Cheney's bluff last year when Cheney tried to use the excuse that he "wasn't part of the executive branch." He promptly launched legislation to withhold executive branch funding from the Veep. Cut that argument off damn quick, and made himself look really fucking hot to Keith Olbermann in the process.
- Screamed John McCain into submission last month after John McCain's last minute presidential politics put the first attempt at a bail-out on hold. Have I mentioned that he's really fucking hot when he's righteously angry?
- Knows how to laugh at himself. When he was the featured speaker at the Press Club banquet this past February, he ended with a video montage of himself for president, and ended: "Rahm for vice president - just a heartbeat away from having a heart."
- Has an amazing, dedicated work ethic. Direct quote: “I always tell the staff failure is not an option. You never give in, and you never give up.” This is born out by the constant circles under his eyes, and the many tales of late-night screaming matches coming from Washington. ♥
Things That Make Rahm Really Ridiculously Hot II: Picspam Edition:
I. Manages to look as if he's had sex with everyone he's ever been photographed with:
II. How he's always on the phone:
III. The thing he does with his hips and suit jackets:
IV. Look at the boy smile:
Yeah. Um. Guh. Sorry. Where was I?
Rahmdom!!!!
The Rahm Emanuel fandom (Rahmdom as some of us are calling it) is brand-spanking new! and it's so new that new material is being added to it really rapidly. Fortunately, you have excellent resources. :D
This morning gave us The Rahm Emanuel Manifesto. It comes complete with enticing picspam, quotes from news journals, and links to the fullest compendium of essential Rahm links and Videos.
It also links to all the dozens of drabbles and fics that have been written (all within the last three days - brand! new! fandom!) over at
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
rahmbamarama. (Don't worry, that community is FABULOUS :D :D :D) You will prolly want to join that community as well as the other political fandom comms, since you said you were really interested in joining. (ontd_political for news, rahmbamarama for fic and squee and everything else!)As for me, I am the mod of the aforementioned comm, so I am actively posting over there, but the whole thing kicked off for me right here on my own LJ.
- This is my Rahm Emanuel tag, aka, the last 4 or 5 most recent entries of this journal. ;)
- The fanfic tag at
rahmbamarama- Fanart!
- The Rahm Drabble Memes. Epic beyond description!!!!
-
rahm_daily, mmmmmm. Also, giant picspam here.- The "rahmdom" tag on Delicious; the "Rahmbo" tag on Delicious; The Rahmemanuel tag on Delicious.
- The syndicated LJ feed of Rahmblr.
Summary:
Thank you for reading all of this, Yuletide Santa! I will leave you with this video, because it is the best summary I can think of - from his presentation at Ari's Learning Disabled Achievers Award ceremony.
“We can say whatever we want to each other, me and Ari and Zeke. But you touch one of them,” he says, conveying the message in classic Emanuel fashion, “and I’ll break your neck.”
That's our Rahm. He is beautiful and witty and angry and passionate and sweet and warm and endearing and fun. I hope you fall a little in love with him, and with the way Washington looks through his eyes, as you tread into the wacky world of politics fandom. I'm a stranger here myself! But we have Rahm to
And now, I exeo:
When his visitor asks for a tour of the White House, Emanuel just laughs. "Fuck, no. I'm going to make sure you know every exit."
♥
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ETA: Stuff I Forgot:
- He's the Representative who warned fellow congressmen not to go on The Colbert Report in 2006 after they proceeded to make asses of themselves doing so, haha. :D But he has appeared on Jon Stewart! It was awesome! He invited him to Thanksgiving Dinner! Jon was like, SORRY SCARED TO DEATH OF YOUR FAMILY. <33333333
- Sophie says I have to add the part where he HANGS UP ON DONORS IF THEY DONATE LESS THAN $5,000. She is right, how could i have forgotten this. "Your donation is an embarrassment," he says, and SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN. ♥____♥
- OH MAN I FORGOT MY FAVORITE ABOUT-RAHM QUOTE, *facepalm*: This is from Wonkette, on the 'everybody loves rahm-an' phenonemon: Possible theory: He has long since accepted the offer, because who says no to Barry? However, he has been instructed to eat up a few news cycles with his dithering while Obama lines up his SecDef, Secretary of Treasury, and other important administration posts. Everybody is so captivated by the ballet-dancing, steak knife-wielding, nine-and-a-half-fingered hot Chicago Jew that they don’t even notice when Obama staffs his entire cabinet with Al Sharpton.
*flail flail flail*
