let's get the seven lines. (bookshop) wrote,
let's get the seven lines.

dang yo this updating thing is kinda cool.

I know now why it's so easy to just write random notes on live journal accounts all the time that monopolize all the space on your friends' pages. this easy-access window pops right up and all your journaling problems are solved. *laughs wildly* I sound like an infomercial.

The point being that I just got off the phone with Shadow. I love talking to that girl, even though half the time I think we're trying to convince each other how much we love each other and our creative endeavours. She's got the up on me for an indefinite time now because she's not only sending me the HARD COPY feedback for the first chapters of Love Under Will but she just completely...(can't hug this hard enough) *changed* the entire ending of COV in order to satisfy my need to have Moby and Sata reunited at the end. Not *only* did she reunite them but she did it SO beautifully, so that basically *EVERYONE* who was parted through adverse means beyond their control from the person they loved with all their heart and soul is reunited with their lover one more time, permanently. It's so ...beautiful is the only word I have for it. That's possibly because i'm listening to a simply beautiful song by the Tea Party right now, possibly because i'm sitting here being wistful over the Initial, possibly because I'm enthralled with having heard from her own lips that she redid the entire conceptual ending of her massive epic saga just to make me happy...*sigh*... that's almost karmic payback.

Why did I so passionately yell and kick and scream for Moby and Sata to end up together and not remain incontrovertibly parted by Fate? Because, as I tried so hard to believe so many nights last year, somewhere, in a perfect universe, there *has* to exist a world in which R chooses *me* and we have happiness, and fate doesn't fuck us over with sickness and separation; a world in which, even in fiction, Sata doesn't leave Moby with so many unanswered questions and such unresolved love in both of their souls.
Why am I getting cryptic? That also has to do with Tea Party music (which always reminds me of R)-- and with the fact that I'm suddenly feeling alive again after days of hiding in my apartment trying to ignore my life for no other reason than the sheer joy of escapism. Now I feel like I'm ready to get this show on the road. There's something very beautiful about an acquaintance with life that lets you zone out, bottom out, fade out, and just *exist* for a time knowing that whenever and wherever you pick it up again, will be just fine. There's something very sweet about being in that situation--with family and friends and pursuits that allow that kind of freedom. Writing LUW has given me an awareness that happiness doesn't come with guarantees of security. It begins to sink in that as long as I'm working on something that fulfills me as much as this silly, stupid little fanfic (which has grown to mean more to me than I could ever know), I could go on just as I am and be perfectly happy. Well...almost...

okay--my shift key just got inexplicably stuck and is fucking up my writing so much at the moment that i"m leaving this now to figure out what the furk just happened here.... i was gonna say something about starting school and stuff but now i.m just like--dude--shift key....why won"t you work???

*puzzled* but not overly frustrated....
Tags: luw, rq, you make me wanna PIKA★★NCHI

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