April 7th, 2009

#Agentfail! (it's hashtag tuesday!)

- HELL YES VERMONT. 2 states in a week, this just makes me so so so so happy and proud and hopeful. I feel like printing out a blank map of the U.S. and coloring it in a state at a time. :D :D :D

- HIROMU ARAKAWA IS DOING THE JAPANESE COVER FOR DEMON'S LEXICON. OH MY GOD. oh my god. oh my god! The level of thrilled I am at right now does not come with coherence. Or words. Just. :DDDDD

- Merlin BB fic stands at like 29,000 words and I am terrified that we will not have time to write the whole ginormous plot before July, especially because my laptop is totally dead and I'm having to write everything out by hand and then come to work at dawn to transcribe it, like I'm in some kind of vintage pressroom movie, deliriously cranking away on a typewriter and shouting "Don't worry, boss, I got a scoop and it's a honey!" This is not helpful for my sanity, especially because if we keep writing at the same rate then at deadline the fic will be... 99,000 words, and Madelyn will say, you're joking, right? And then we will be stuck with a giant, possibly unfinished fic, which may not even contain adult material, and we'll have to code it ourselves and beg artists to give us art for it, and not even Amalin's amazing Hilary Duff fst will take us to the mountaintop, and then i will die alone and pigeons will peck at my face, and my mother will say to me, why, why, Aja, why did you give your life for this, when you could have been writing nice innocent heterosexual romance novels and getting paid for them? and i will not reply because i will be dead, and the only answer will be the faint echo of "So Yesterday" wafting over my rotting corpse.

- Has anybody been following the #queryfail / #agentfail wars on twitter/the blogosphere? Here's a a handy summary ala the Guardian with a link to the post that culled hundreds of responses about rude agents. Some of these writer complaints seem extremely petty and obtuse to me. (Don't you hate words and phrases for which there are no adjective/adverb form? Like "missing-the-point" should have an adjective form. YOU ARE POINT-MISSING. ugh, not the same.)

Actual complaints: That agent seems too disorganized. Agents should reply with more than one sentence. Agents shouldn't twitter about writers. Agents shouldn't multi-task when they're on the phone with clients. Agents should keep their personal business off their professional blogs.


When I see writers complaining that they only got one line of agent feedback, or that an agent doesn't seem worthy of their manuscripts, it makes me think they're fostering an unhealthy sense of dignity. I'd like it if my agent was a little crazed, a little laidback, a little spastic and frenetic and snarky and imperfect, and basically a little like me. I love that I can get to know agents through their lives, their snarky twitters, their blogs, their passion for their clients. I'm most likely only going to query agents I already feel I have a lot in common with. I'm not going to query agents who love books I hate.

I will definitely query agents who love to laugh at the submissions process and the act of writing itself, because if the day ever comes when I cannot mock myself then I will almost certainly need my agent to do it for me.

One thing did make me D: - the agent who told their client "I hated your last book." Your agent should be your biggest fan, and no matter how successful a writer gets, if they write a book you hate, then to keep representing it is like remaining trapped in a loveless marriage. Divorce! Let them find an agent who loves them! I'm sure there are plenty of agents with horrible taste out there to represent awful books. ♥ And that will mean that, hey, there is still enough love to go around, and everyone is happy. #agentwin for all!

- today is a good day. that's all!