tom is a great guy but in the last two years he's hit the alcohol hard. none of us knows what to do about it and i guess we're all too chicken to talk to him about it so we just watch it happen and do nothing. as he gets drunker he gets nastier. lately he's taken to coming outside (by outside, i mean out of the shithole that is his room) and glaring at me while i am on the computer. i usually tend to ignore this. two nights ago, which was ironically the first time i'd been in their apartment in nearly 2 weeks, he came into the living room and said, "don't you ever leave?" and that was okay, because he's drunk, right? and i know he doesn't *mean* those things, because when he's not drunk he's the same old tom whom we all know and love.
but now this morning, at 6:30 am, while dave, i'm assuming, was asleep, tom came upstairs and started banging on my door. when i answered him--and i dislike being awakened prematurely as much as anybody--he insulted me *again* for being downstairs last night and demanded to know the password to dave's computer connection. i told him i didn't have it--why on earth would i?--and fobbed him off, but then a few minutes later he started trying to call and came upstairs to pound on my door again. i had locked him out and signed on here, and i *hate* that, i hate locking my door against my neighbor, but this is really getting out of hand. i mean, it probably wouldn't help to explain to him that there's nothing i can do and i'm not giving him my own personal password to use, because he's drunk, and when he's drunk he just wants to be mean and sullen and not think about his life. which, i understand that, sure, but i don't like Mean!Tom. He is scary and glowery, and I want NiceFunnyGuy!Tom back.
not to mention that i'm completely cranky and glum from having been awakened. i am one of those people who *cannot* go back to sleep when i wake up. and i have about 50,000 things i need to do today. will i do them? even a single one? probably not.
in other news, I read, *finally* read The Lodger by Mad Martha yesterday. eleveninches recced this to me back in december and I've had it on my priority reading list since then, i just never had the "reading the lodger" vibe. but i finally did yesterday and it was excellent. very strong writing, wonderful storyline, original without anybody being too ooc, and though i'm not as hung up on her characterization of Ron as other people are--I just have Ron hangups that involve a general repulsion to any depiction of him as a competent well-adjusted grown-up--I think the author does a wonderful job of handling all her character dynamics in a way that feels fresh and interesting. And the H/D relationship feels wonderfully smooth and realistic and undertstated. It's just a lovely story.
I found myself tempted to go to ff.net recently just to pick up fic recs. I feel like a 5th Avenue madam who's been forced to streetwalk on 42nd street. Please, spare me the humilation and give me fic recs.
*yawns, gives up, heads back to bed. garble*