vanityfair: i was just about to lj that too! *refrains*
vanityfair: no use spamming all our friends with our love.
thegraybook: I got there fiiirst
thegraybook: You just get to admire my butt as I disappear over the horizon
vanityfair: Shane! Shane, come back!
thegraybook: You gotta grow up to be straight, kid.
Continuing with the theme, late-night Westerns.... Oh, hell, this is too funny to cut, goddammit.
weatherby: I have an idea for a leather trousers fic
vanityfair: this is pleasing!
weatherby: All of these people who write leather trousers sex scenes have clearly never worn leather trousers.
vanityfair: hahahahaha, they are uncomfortable as hell.
weatherby: I was just thinking about it because I have been enjoying plebey fluff smut lately and half of them I have had to carefully ignore the leather trousers.
weatherby: And of course then I have to pretend they have not just said, "Malfoy was not wearing anything underneath! "
weatherby: I mean, Draco is never wearing underwear under them.
weatherby: I am sorry to point this out, but HE WOULD PROBABLY SMELL.
vanityfair: yes because they are hot and sticky
weatherby: And then your skin is all white from getting so hot, too, haha.
weatherby: And there would be marks all over his legs from where the seams of the trousers were.
weatherby: I am not actually going to write it.
weatherby: It is just Harry going, "...ugh, were you - were you SWEATING? Malfoy, leather clings!"
weatherby: "Come on, Potter, peel faster!"
vanityfair: hahahahahahahahahaha yes, and harry would be like, "I'm tugging, i'm tugging!" "well, pull harder!"
weatherby: "Malfoy, why didn't you take your shoes off FIRST?"
weatherby: "Ugh, Malfoy - your skin - it's all damp and - I have to go." *door slams*
vanityfair: Three days later the house-elves are still trying to heal his poor chapped skin.
weatherby: *door opens* "Try talcum powder if you plan on pulling a stunt like this again." *door slams again*
weatherby: And he probably wouldn't be all that sexy in them if it was the first time he wore them.
weatherby: It would be all,
weatherby: *squeak squeak crinkle crunch* "Well, hello. " *adjusts ass of pants*
vanityfair: the sound they make is the worst part.
weatherby: All attempts to casually sit would of course be failure.
weatherby: He should wear spurs, too.
weatherby: They should be leather chaps.
vanityfair: they'd have to use saddle oil for lube.
weatherby: "You know, Malfoy, I've always wanted to say this... a riding crop would really MAKE that outfit."
weatherby: Draco: No one understands me. *crunchcrinklesqueakcrunchcrunch*
vanityfair: also, how hard would that be to fly around in? can you imagine draco having to ride a broomstick that way?
weatherby: Well, his broomstick is also leather.
weatherby: Little leather fringe for the tail.
vanityfair: does he get a hat?
vanityfair: He flies just a foot above the ground.
vanityfair: he needs a ten-gallon wizarding cap.
weatherby: Nay, a leather police hat with a little chain.
vanityfair: with the little strap that goes under his chin?
weatherby: Of course.
weatherby: He also prowls bear clubs.
weatherby: Draco is disappointed because Harry does not have enough chest hair.
vanityfair: he wishes he walked more like john wayne.
weatherby: Draco also wears really high boots with the leather trousers in fics.
vanityfair: those are so hard to walk in.
vanityfair: i think that leather trousers are men's version of a corset.
vanityfair: and his crotch would have to be so sore by the time he was out of them that he'd never be able to HAVE sex afterwards
weatherby: How could he even have an erection in those? Hahahaha.
weatherby: How is there room for this?
vanityfair: i know! maybe if he were like two inches
weatherby: By the time Harry got the trousers undone Draco would be, "THANK GOD!!!!!!!" and Harry would be, "Well! *polishes nails on shoulder*"
weatherby: I alone understand Draco's pain.
weatherby: *crunchsqueakcrinklesqueak* NO ONE! *squeakcrunchcrinkleswirpcrink*
weatherby: This is a great fic.
*will be laughing for a month*
weatherby: : You renamed half of me to vanityfair and it looks like you are talking to yourself.
vanityfair: : hahahahahahahaahahaha *fixes!*
vanityfair: : for 3 minutes i was so witty!!!
weatherby: : Yes, "How is there room for this?" is the humorous crux here.
vanityfair: : actually to me it is Draco: No one understands me. *crunchcrinklesqueakcrunchcrunch*
weatherby: : That is the sound of him running away.
vanityfair: : hahahahahahaahha.
vanityfair: : what is the sound of him approaching?
weatherby: : *crunch. crinkle. squeak. crunch.*
Edits again: And she wrote it!!! *insanely pleased*