Christopher Reeve died. Of complications from a bedsore. What a terrible way to die. I have no words. But rest in peace.
And rest in peace, Matthew Shepard.
Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. This time last year I almost came out to my mom--as a slasher. Which is not the same thing. But I am still too indecisive to come out as a bisexual, and even if I did, my mother would never believe that I'm "bisexual." And if I did show up with a girlfriend she'd skip over bisexual and go to "lesbian," directly to "lesbian," no $200 for her. Which sucks. I think it's much harder--and I say this from an outside perspective, since I honestly don't know what the fuck I am, haha--but I think it's much harder to be bisexual than gay in the respect that you have, like, no street cred. Straight people think you're just confused and Gay people think you're just in denial. It's stupid, especially because most people the world over are bisexual to some degree (see Scale, Kinsey). Still sucks, though. and I wish I could fucking make up my mind already.
Dorrie wants us to tell her what we truly love, meme-style. I think my loves are pretty obvious. But here are the less obvious ones. Paul Cezanne, my favorite artist. Lea Salonga, my favorite singer. Non-fiction--I read more non-fiction than non-fiction. The children's novels of Marguerite Henry. Breyer Horses. The short stories of Damon Runyon, Dashiell Hammett, and Bret Harte, and I think I'm the only person in the world who reads those. Chopin and Brahms. Alfred Schnittke's Requiem. Mozart's Symphony no. 40. The moment in the quartet from Sweeney Todd where the music swells and they return to the line, "I loved you, even as I saw you" from "Ah, Miss"--that is the definition of pure, utter bliss. All the instrumental sections from On the Town, especially "Lonely Town" and the dance suite after it. "Cool" from West Side Story. The Overture to Candide. "A Simple Song" from the Mass. Yeah, Bernstein gets his own section under things I love. Cole Porter and Frank Loesser, my two favorite musical theatre composers after Sondheim and Bernstein. Goya and Delacroix. Rainy Day in Paris. The films of Billy Wilder. The subtext in Alfred Hitchcock films. the poetry of W.H. Auden. The moment at the end of Peter Grimes when the opera chorus shouts, "PETER GRIMES!" and it sounds like the ringing knell of ultimate judgment, and it makes the hair stand up on your flesh. "Tender" by Blur. The soundtracks to The Power of One and The Mambo Kings--I drink them in like water. The original cast recordings of City of Angels, Once on this Island, and South Pacific. The relationship that Emma and Mr. Knightley have, or, alternately, that Tracy Lord and Dexter Haven have in The Philadelphia Story--it is my ultimate romantic ideal. Clueless, the best witty tongue-in-cheek socially astute and still hip retelling of a story ever. Gringo's Mountain Organic Salsa. John Cusack movies. especially High Fidelity. Tim Robbins movies, especially Shawshank. The Hepburns. Tennyson's poetry, especially "Ulysses" and Idylls of the King. The sense of overwhelming life-changing awe that I got from reading The Fountainhead for the very first time. Postmodern film noir. Film noir, for that matter. Postmodernism, for that matter. The Lake of Shining Waters and the White Way of Delight, but especially Gog and Magog and Windy Poplars. The best parts of Pride and Prejudice, like "when there are twenty, I shall visit them all," and "we are each of us of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that shall amaze the whole room and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb," and "be not alarmed, madam." All of Pride and Prejudice, for that matter. Allison's Steadman's whole speech about Mr. Bennet fighting Wickham from the BBC miniseries, because as many times as I have watched it over and over again, the entire speech never fails to make me laugh hysterically. Bernadette Peters' performance of "Not a Day Goes By" at the Kennedy Center Honors. Mandy Patinkin singing "Finishing the Hat." The Sound of Music, Robert Wise-style. Jerome Robbins' staging for the "Somewhere" sequence from West Side Story, and the "Tradition" sequence from Fiddler on the Roof. "Anatevka" from Fiddler. The kiss in Kiss of the Spider Woman. La Chanze singing "Waiting for Life to Begin." Margaret Cho imitating Quentin Tarantino in I'm The One That I Want: "Don't let them take your voice!" Margaret Cho imitating her mom. John Mellancamp on the radio singing "come on baby, take a ride with me, I'm up from Indiana down to Tennessee," when I'm driving down I-65 doing just that. The way the leaves look like in the rain, right now, and the way the rain sounds hitting the pavement. The way my best friend and I can get together after 2 years of being apart, and it's as if not a day has passed, and the love threatens to swallow us whole. My grandmother bent over in her garden with the sun on her back. Blackberries, eaten straight off the vine--the single best taste in all the world. Music, good, good music, that's turned up just loud enough so that the bass practically thrums in your heart.
Thank you for the poll responses! they're fascinating and fun and I love that the moment somebody says "books!" everyone perks up and everyone has an opinion. It's lovely. I'm amazed that Nick Hornby beat out Dostoyevksy! But since I've already started on High Fidelity anyway, I'll read that first, and then tackle the harder stuff. Which reminds me. That movie-reviews-for-slashers thing I wanted to do. I was thinking that I might do it on livejournal instead, because I will never, ever, ever code the html for the site, I already know that. I am lazy and unmotivated, but LJ I can do. Would that be a worthy enterprise, or just more posts to filter out?
I never want to do the popular memes at the time they're going around. Like, the unpopular fandom opinion thing is going around, and I have nothing to say. Next week, I will be full of unpopular opinions, but I won't be able to post because the meme will be over with. I am doomed to be left out in the meme cold.
By the way, the ask any of my characters questions! meme is still on. Hint hint.
I have been listening to this song on loop for like an hour. I love it. You should too. Enjoy. Carbon Leaf - Let Your Troubles Roll By.