two_if_by_sea: HE DOES XDDDD
two_if_by_sea: WITH FAKE AND GRAVITATION
two_if_by_sea: Someone needs to write a joke diary for Tezuka.
Day One: saw a.k.'s bed today. informed him that it was bigger than the matterhorn. he laughed. i was being serious. v. offended.
Day Three: went fishing. a.k. told me that fishing is for peasants. almost told him to stick it up his ass, but that would require showing emotion.
p.s. buy more deodorant.
Day 84: echizen is so hot. I mean good at tennis omg.
Day 96: today oishi remarked echizen was getting hot. gave him laps for being crude. took ten minutes to figure out he just meant at tennis.
Day 113: stranger asked me how old my son was today. gave him the evil eye. must never tell this to fuji. will never hear the end of it.
Day 247: echizen told me he is not the type to sleep with his father. did not tell him i totally know because then would have to tell him about that thing with nanjiroh. v. bad idea.
Day 250: phone message from a.k. insinuating we should consider a 3-person. considered this option for much longer than appropriate. must never bring this up with echizen. would probably get twist served in the face.
Day 251: forgot to delete phone message. face now bruised. echizen quite ruthless. unamused.
Day 254: ...have received similar message from fuji, in form of blackmail re that thing with nanjiroh. tried to suggest compromise as way out of situation. fuji suggested a foursome. this could get v.v. bad. almost replied to fuji asking 'with whom'. then realized it would be bad to let fuji set terms. have decided that if w/ nanjiroh, must get him to shave first. whisker burn v. uncomfortable.
Day 255: Also, this time: no collars.
Day 256: ....Possibly nanjiroh and keigo together to balance out stubble issue. Also, a.k. always has best sheets.
Day 258: a.k. has emailed 'ore-sama never shares.' suspect he and fuji might suit one another remarkably well.
Day 259: told fuji today that it looks like it might rain on practice tomorrow. obs. was asking him how a 4p would even work. fuji did not understand. gave him 20 laps. went home and read gravitation to comfort self. pretended to be yuki eiri and was almost caught by grandfather. v. dangerous.
Day 262: must stop using racket as shuichi.
Day 263: trying to get ryoma to read gravitation. if all goes well will use him as substitute for racket. suspects will take extra coercing to dye his hair pink. when it grows back, i mean.
Day 267: plan possibly working too well. ryoma obsessed with roleplay. have had to stop him from buying cat ears.
Day 268: had petty argument with ryoma about merits of gravitation anime. won 6-4.
Day 269: ryoma introduced me to fake. should have known ryoma always wins in rematches.
Day 270: wonder if i would look good with a strap-on gun. should know better than to ask a.k. about that. perhaps will ask fuji instea--nm.
Day 271: will not watch loveless no matter how much fuji says the main character looks like ryoma.
Day 280: ....am considering buying cat ears.
Day 290: viewfinder v. v. interesting. wonder if ryoma would....
Day 291: ....answer: yes.
Day 292: must figure out how to tell fuji why i borrowed film.
Day 295: could not come up with suitable lie for fuji. fuji now wants to be fei long.
Day 300: a.k. unhappy to be left out of loop. told him he could be my asami anytime. now regretting that statement. a.k. obviously reads too much yaoi. he says he finds it hard to tell when i am joking. am wondering how to ask him if i could borrow his youka nitta collection.
Day 315: received lecture from ryoma today about not mixing sex and tennis. fail to understand why he was so upset. just because ran out of condoms and told him not to get careless. told ryoma he could not get pregnant anyway. was overheard by momo. pretended to be giving sex lecture and am now afraid of ryoma's revenge.
Day 320: fuji heard about pregnancy rumor. surprised ryoma with baby clothes. ryoma less than pleased.
Day 326: oishi worried that the baby will be born in wedlock. told him he was getting carried away. now dreaming about ryoma in bridal gown. might borrow one from a.k.
Day 340: ryoma over at fuji's for long time today. came back with white satin gloves. says this is only the beginning.
suspect should send him over to fuji's more often.
ASDFJKDSKALA SORRY, TEZUKA. We mock you because we love you. All death threats and spontaneous bursts of outrage should be directed at two_if_by_sea. bookshop is just the helpless sidekick in her reign of terror. really.
ETA: The lovely banana_onigiri has drawn Loveless!Ryoma and Tezuka. Oh purr.