see? RED ROCK LAVA THING
so they're all like OMGWTFLAVAMONSTER o.O!
and then Kirk is all, SHOOT TO KILL, REDSHIRTS WHO WILL NOT MAKE IT PAST THIS EPISODE! and the redshirts are all "YES, CAPTAIN" *RUN OFF TO DIE*
and then he's all, um, Spock....
what i have to say pains me deeply, but i need you to go help scotty.
Spock is like, "I...I... I'm sorry, did you just ask me to leave you?"
and he gets this SHOCKED HURT PUPPY DOG LOOK ON HIS FACE, which you can only read if you were actually watching, or if you're obsessed with spock
Even now your very presence, 'tis like a dagger unto my breast. I ache, I ache.
But... why must you send him away who would wish only to love and protect you always?
Because, man! you've seen that.... that THING! It's big! It's red! it's lava-y! IT CAN LAVA YOU TO DEATH! DON'T YOU SEE? I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU DIE WITH ME!
But captain, the odds of both of us dying in this particular instance are two thousand, two hundred and twenty-eight point seven to one.
....2,0228.7 to 1, huh?
......Mr. Spock, do you..... often calculate the..... odds of the two of us surviving any given mission?
Oh, Spock. *_*
What is this feeling, coming over me.
Well, I guess since no one's looking, we can have sex.
Did I say have sex? I meant you can stay. Yes. Stay.
And by 'stay,' I mean with me. Forever. *____*
Well, if you insist. But captain, should we have sex while on duty?
Lol, I'll tell everyone we're "commanding from a central operating point," no one will ever know.
eta: SPOCK IS GOING TO MIND MELD WITH THE LAVA MONSTER!!!!! IT'S A LAVA MONSTER MIND MELD, EVERYONE!
eta2: "Jim, I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!" ADKLFADS AHAHAHA THIS EP IS SERIOUSLY THE SHIT. KONOMI COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS EP. AHAHAHAHAHA, HAPPY HAPPY.
eta3: sadkljfkadsjkf;adsk;fjdskla Kirk: YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?
LavaMom said your ears were sexy?
Oh, please, like they don't turn you on.
But I'M NOT MADE OUT OF CEMENT.
Hmph. If you're going to be illogical, I'm going to go stand over there and detect life signs.
But, baby, you know I only get jealous because it pleases you.